The last three weeks have been a little more busy than usual for me. Had some family over for about two weeks, so I didn’t really get around to practicing and solving musical problems. The house is quiet again so today I played a bit to see where I was at. I can’t say that I really did any work because I was too antsy and sleepy to really do anything super serious. I played through both of my completed compositions and took a stab at “Inward” but I decided to work on it more later when I was more with it. I just couldn’t see myself getting anything productive done at that point. I have been think more about where “Inward” is headed and what the theme is and everything.
I have been re-reading this book called Inner Christianity: A Guide to the Esoteric Tradition by Richard Smoley. When most people think of Christianity, they think Old testament, the burning bush, Ten Commandments, stupid rules, etc. What Smoley does is look beyond dogma and tradition and into the heart of what Christianity really is. He draws from a bunch of different esoteric and mystical texts, as well as writings by different Christian writers, and the Bible. I recommend it if you have any interests that fall in this area. I realized while I was re-reading chapter five, the ideas that I was trying to express in my piece were the same ideas in chapter four, “Sacred Birth.” In this chapter, Smoley takes about rebirth and cites the passage from the bible where Jesus is talking to Nicodemus about how to be reborn. The esoteric interpretation of this passage, which can be found in John, breaks down flesh, water, and spirit as levels of human nature. The flesh or the body is the level where sensations or impulses are felt. Water, which is the soul, is the area of images, thoughts, and emotions that float about the mind. The spirit or what Smoley calls the true “I” is what is buried underneath the first two levels, waiting quietly in the background to be heard. Smoley says that gnosis is when the “I” becomes liberated from the whims of the flesh and spirit. Once these things are mastered, the soul is able to be reborn and gain entrance to the kingdom of God.
This is what “Inward” is supposed to be about: one’s own journey to the true self or “I.” Kinda New Age-y, no? 😛 Now that I have these ideas cemented in my head (along with a nicely detailed post-it), I think that I will be able to take this piece in the direction that it needs to be in and hopefully make some progress soon.